Are you and your partner unable to resolve differences? Are you repeating the same arguments without being able to reach a solution?
When life with the person you love takes a turn, it can leave you feeling hurt, frustrated and alone.
It could be that you are experiencing problems communicating in your relationship and are not feeling listened to or understood. You might misinterpret what your partner is saying or visa versa. You may find yourself stuck in the same patterns of arguing, unable to resolve your differences.
Perhaps you are experiencing intimacy problems or infidelity, wish to understand how you arrived at this place and are committed to making positive changes going forward.
A significant life event such as the birth of a child, an illness, loss or other life stressor can easily cause disruption. You may be wondering what happened to your ability to support each other.
In our work together, you will find ways to change old behavioral patterns and develop new ones. This will enable you to create opportunities to find resolution and make lasting changes.
Relationships bring much joy and a sense of fulfillment. And yet, they can also be challenging and complex.
All couples are bound to face some difficulties, large or small over the course of their relationship. How your concerns are understood and resolved will make all the difference.
It is normal to need help settling conflicts, addressing differences in parenting styles, dealing with a recent or past trauma and/or other life events such as health issues or loss.
These are just some of the reasons that couples seek relationship counseling. No two situations are the same.
How do couples get to this place in their relationship?
Your family of origin, as well as past relationship. form a blueprint for how you respond to difficulties in your current relationship. Without knowing, you could be expecting others to react as those in your past have done, or find yourself acting in ways you thought you never would
We all bring our personal stories with us.
We create meaning in our lives and develop our most intimate relationships based on our life experiences. With the help of a licensed couples counselor, you can learn new tools for communicating clearly and restore balance in your relationship, leading to greater happiness and fulfillment.
How couples counseling can be helpful.
Relationship counseling and marriage therapy can greatly improve your relationship by providing effective ways to communicate so that your needs and concerns are addressed openly and honestly.
A deeper respect, empathy and understanding of each other will occur when you are able to share your feelings and concerns comfortably.
To begin with, I will listen to you both respectfully so that I can clearly understand why you have come and what you hope to accomplish in our work together. Collaboratively, we will decide how best to help you create the changes you are seeking.
It is informative and valuable to focus on both the relationship between the two of you as well as individual issues that may have an effect on your interactions with each other.
Over the course of couples therapy, it is my hope that you will develop the resources and skills to resolve your differences. In our work together, you will learn how to change old behavioral patterns and develop new ones. This will enable you to find solutions and make lasting changes.
Improved communication through listening, reflecting on what was heard and dispelling assumptions is a first step in being able to address conflicts comfortably.
Building a safe space to express your needs and feel heard is also integral to working on change together. It helps to strengthen and facilitate healing when you are able to practice what you learned outside of the sessions.
Couples counseling will provide much needed encouragement and support to assist you in overcoming the obstacles that have brought you to therapy. Many couples have shared feelings of hope and optimism that developed once they gained a deeper understanding of themselves and learned to communicate more freely
Couples normally have questions or concerns in our first consultation.
“I’m worried that our problems will get worse.”
This is not an unusual concern. Most likely, you and your partner are caught in a repetitive pattern of conflict that prevents you from finding solutions when you have differences. Relationship counseling will enable you to view your situation through a new lens and see that you have choices in how you respond and support each another.
Effective communication will create the opportunity for greater wisdom, understanding and appreciation for each other.
“Couples counseling is just too hard. It’s easier to do nothing.”
I understand. It probably has taken quite some time to think about getting help. By considering relationship or marriage counseling you have already begun the process of healing. It is important to me that in our work together you feel listened to and emotionally safe. I hope to provide an environment where you feel comfortable enough to share what is most important to you in order to get your relationship where you want it to be.
“Joan, do you see couples frequently in therapy?"
Yes. For over thirty years, I have worked with couples that are living together, beginning their lives together, raising children and navigating midlife and aging.
Different stages of life will test couples in new ways. Many couples that I saw as young adults feel at ease returning to our work together when facing significant transitions later in life.
As a couples therapist, what I find most rewarding is being a part of the process that guides couples in making the changes they desire. Having new tools to work with and an enhanced understanding of yourself and your partner you will give you the ability to handle whatever challenges come your way.
What are the next steps?
Please feel free to call me at 303.759.9171 to set up a free telephone consultation.
I am happy to answer any questions that you may have that will help you to feel more comfortable moving forward to make the changes necessary to enhance your relationship.
We can decide in that conversation if you would like to get started by making an appointment. I look forward to hearing from you.