Being in a relationship brings much joy and a sense of fulfillment. Yet at times it can feel challenging and complex.
All couples are bound to face some difficulties, large or small over the course of their relationship. How your concerns are understood and resolved will make the difference.
In our work together, you will find ways to change old behavioral patterns and develop new ones. This will enable you to create opportunities to find solutions and make lasting changes.
When life with the person you love takes a turn it can leave you feeling hurt, frustrated and alone.
It could be that you are…
…experiencing problems communicating and are not feeling listened to or understood. You might misinterpret what your partner is saying or misinterpret what was intended.
You find yourself stuck in the same patterns of arguing and are unable to find resolution.
Perhaps you are experiencing intimacy problems or infidelity, wish to understand how you arrived at this place and are committed to making positive changes going forward.
A significant life event such as the birth of a child, an illness, loss or other life stressor can easily cause disruption. You may be wondering what happened to your ability to support each other.
How did we get to this place in our relationship?
We create meaning in our lives and develop ways of being in our most intimate relationships based on our life experiences.
We all bring our personal stories with us.
Family of origin and past relationships are often explored as ways of understanding how these experiences may have provided a blueprint for your current relationship.
Without knowing, you could be expecting others to react as those in your past have done or find yourself acting in ways you thought you never would.
How couples counseling can be helpful.
Couples Counseling/ Marriage Counseling can greatly improve your relationship by providing effective ways to communicate so that your needs and concerns are addressed openly and honestly. A deeper respect, empathy and understanding of each other will occur when you are able to share your feelings and concerns comfortably.
To begin with, I will listen to you both respectfully so that I can clearly understand why you have come and what you hope to accomplish in our work together. Collaboratively, we will decide how best to help you create the changes you are seeking.
It is informative and valuable to focus on both the relationship between the two of you as well as individual issues that may have an effect on your interactions with each other.
Over the course of therapy it is my experience that you will develop the resources and skills to resolve your differences by redirecting old patterns and listening without judgment.
Having these new tools will give you the ability to handle whatever comes your way.
Couples normally have questions or concerns in our first consultation.
“I’m worried that our problems will get worse.”
This is not an unusual concern. Most likely, you and your partner are caught in a repetitive pattern of conflict that prevents you from resolving your issues. Couples counseling will enable you to view your situation through a new lens and see that you have choices in how you respond and support each another.
In a safe and supportive manner, effective communication will create the opportunity to provide greater wisdom, understanding and appreciation for each other
“Couples counseling is just too hard. It’s easier to do nothing.”
I understand. It probably has taken quite some time to think about getting help. By considering counseling you have already begun the process. It is important to me that in our work together you feel listened to and emotionally safe. I hope to provide an environment where you feel comfortable enough to share what is most important to you in order to get your relationship where you want it to be.
“Joan, do you see couples frequently in therapy?"
Yes. For over thirty years, I have worked with couples that are living together, beginning their lives together, raising children and navigating midlife and aging.
Different stages of life will test couples in new ways. Many couples that I saw as young adults feel at ease returning to our work together when facing significant transitions later in life.
Wanting help with resolving conflict, addressing differences in parenting styles, gaining skills to cope with the effects of a recent or past trauma, dealing with life changing events such as a health issue or a loss are just some of the reasons folks will reach out for help. No two situations are the same.
What I find most rewarding is being a part of the process that guides couples in making the changes they desire. Many couples have shared their feelings of hope and optimism once they have a deeper understanding of themselves and are able to communicate more freely.
Couples counseling can provide much needed encouragement and support to assist you in overcoming the obstacles that have brought you to therapy.
What are the next steps?
Please feel free to call me at 303.759.9171 to set up a free telephone consultation.
I am happy to answer any questions that you may have that will help you to feel more comfortable moving forward to make the changes necessary to enhance your relationship.
We can decide in that conversation if you would like to get started by making an appointment. I look forward to hearing from you.